The 40 Rules of Work: A Journey of Love, Faith & Transformation

A few years into consulting – and after a few stumbles, quiet wins, hard truths, and late-night reflections..

I recently came across a book that lingered. The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak. Though rooted in Sufi mysticism, it was less about religion and more about the journey of becoming – a transformation through love, faith, and inner growth.

That framework stayed with me. But not just in the abstract. It started echoing through my work.

Because work changes us. It transforms us. It humbles and hardens, lifts and tires, stretches and sharpens us.
It’s where we meet some of our deepest insecurities, hardest challenges, and greatest growth.

I decided to write down my own Rules of Work. Not tips or commandments, but just things I’ve learned…and keep re-learning. It’s a personal philosophy-in-progress. A field guide for anyone trying to do good work with a little more heart – whether you’re a consultant, a founder, or just figuring it out.

I’ve grouped them into three buckets: the way The Forty Rules of Love spoke to me: Love, Faith, and Transformation.

LOVE

(How you treat others at work)

1. Be kind. Always.
   Not because it’s strategic – because it’s rare.

2. Critique the work, not the person.
   Kind candor builds trust.

3. Celebrate others.
   Clap loudly when it’s not your turn.

4. Don’t compete with your teammates.
   Compete like a sportsperson – fair, fierce, and respectful. You’re on the same ship. Drill holes, and you all sink. But if you push each other, you all sail farther.

5. Emotional labor matters.
   Soft skills often hold teams together, even if they don’t show up in KPIs.

6. Lead yourself with compassion, not ego.
   Ambition can climb. Compassion can lift.

7. Emails reveal character.
   Write with respect. Always assume someone’s having a hard day.

8. Make co-workers, not best friends.
   Warmth is good. Boundaries are better.

9. Let go of things done badly to you.
   Most people move on. Don’t be the one still holding the weight.

10. Give feedback like watering a plant.
    Not once in crisis – but gently, often, and with care.

FAITH

(What you believe when no one is watching)

11. Good work is a form of prayer.
    Do it with care, even when it’s unseen.

12. Stay curious.
    Curiosity is how you grow when the job feels the same.

13. Seek purpose, not just promotion.
    Promotions fill your CV. Purpose fills your life.

14. Don’t chase “the perfect company.”
    Find a place where your values don’t need explaining.

15. When in doubt, choose integrity.
    It won’t always be rewarded. But it will always be remembered.

16. Your best work won’t always be recognized.
    Do it anyway.

17. Think in questions, not just answers.
    Certainty closes doors. Curiosity kicks them open.

18. You are not your worst day at work.
    Or your best.

19. Hold yourself to a quiet excellence.
    The best professionals don’t talk about standards. They live them.

20. Don’t seek credit. Seek contribution.
    The people who matter usually know.

21. Silence is powerful.
    Listen more than you speak. Observe before you act.

22. Lead yourself first.
    Don’t wait for validation to feel valuable.

TRANSFORMATION

(The hard-won stuff that actually changes you)

23. Learn how decisions are made.
    Behind every choice is a person, a pressure, and a power dynamic.

24. Growth often feels like confusion.
    If you know exactly what you’re doing, you’re probably not learning.

25. Great slides don’t rescue weak thinking.
    Craft the logic first. Then the design.

26. Rest is productive.
    Burnout doesn’t make you important. It makes you absent.

27. Don’t trade harmony for impact.
    Smooth conversations rarely change anything.

28. Learn to manage up, not flatter up.
    Understand their world. Anticipate their needs. Be dependable.

29. Write like you respect your reader’s time.
    Because you should.

30. Keep learning – even when no one asks you to.
    That’s the only job that’s truly yours.

31. Accept feedback like a pro.
    Even when it’s clumsy. Especially then.

32. Never be too senior to take notes.
    Note-taking isn’t beneath you. Forgetting key details probably is.

33. Be reliable – especially when it’s boring.
    Trust is built in the unglamorous moments.

34. No job is too small for excellence.
    How you do the small things is how you’ll do everything.

35. Break big problems into small truths.
    Clarity lives in the details. But meaning lives in the whole.

36. Aim for insight, not just output.
    Work that fills slides is forgotten. Work that shifts minds is remembered.

37. Think long-term.
    Not every win will come with a reward today.

38. Stay calm under pressure.
    You don’t need to be loud to lead.

39. Keep your ambition grounded in grace.
    Climb without stepping on others. Remember who helped you.

40. Leave every workplace better than you found it.
    With decency, integrity, effort, and care.

That’s it.. for now.

Some I wrote down in my iPhone Notes app after tough meetings.

Some of these rules came from wise mentors.

Some I observed in the way my seniors carried themselves.

Some were learned the hard way

And some I’m still figuring out.

Hope to keep learning and growing.